ChristmAstoria 2

– photo by Mitch Waxman

Let me preface today’s post by mentioning that the anagrammatic transposition of Santa and Satan is no accident.

Given the macabre sense of humor that the most high god itself is suggested to have by scripture- making its arch enemy transmogrify into a nice old man who gives presents to children- on its birthday- is exactly the sort of thing one would expect from the sun god of a desert people.

If you think about it, Santa is principally red in color and flies about with a wild hunt of magickal herd animals. He is also invulnerable to chimney fires and possessed of a menacing laugh. Ergo- Santa Claus (saint nick) might actually be Satan (old nick). This link will be handy on Christmas eve, as the Strategic Air Command’s NORAD will be tracking the demon as it makes its way south from the polar wastelands toward the Newtown Pentacle.

from wikipedia

Numerous parallels have been drawn between Santa Claus and the figure of Odin, a major god amongst the Germanic peoples prior to their Christianization. Since many of these elements are unrelated to Christianity, there are theories regarding the pagan origins of various customs of the holiday stemming from areas where the Germanic peoples were Christianized and retained elements of their indigenous traditions, surviving in various forms into modern depictions of Santa Claus.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

In the early days of the American Colonies, which modern politics and propaganda instruct its citizenry to believe was a time of “freedom and liberty”, personal or non standard expressions of religion were frowned upon. Of course, that was up north in New England. New York City and its citizens are actually the authors of the modern Christmas.

Thomas Nast created the visuals in 1863 for “Harper’s Weekly”, Washington Irving turned Sinterklaas into Santa Claus in 1809’s “A History of New York”  and also inserted the reindeer and sleigh, Clement Clarke Moore (whose family got their start in colonial Newtown) is said to have written “Twas the night before Christmas” in 1823, and the NY Sun published the famous “Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” in 1897.

from wikipedia

Christmas celebrations in Puritan New England (1620-1850?) were culturally and legally suppressed and thus, virtually non-existent. The Puritan community found no Scriptural justification for celebrating Christmas, and associated such celebrations with paganism and idolatry. The earliest years of the Plymouth colony were troubled with non-Puritans attempting to make merry, and Governor William Bradford was forced to reprimand offenders. English laws suppressing the holiday were enacted in the Interregnum, but repealed late in the 17th century. However, the Puritan view of Christmas and its celebration had gained cultural ascendancy in New England, and Christmas celebrations continued to be discouraged despite being legal. When Christmas became a Federal holiday in 1870, the Puritan view was relaxed and late nineteenth century Americans fashioned the day into the Christmas of commercialism, liberal spirituality, and nostalgia that most Americans recognize today.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

In modern times, the garish lighting adorning Astoria is also equipped with tiny electronic speakers which blare endless loops of the first movement of “Jingle Bells”. Were one prone to paranoid and conspiratorial thinking, it would seem that some vast cabal of industrial and economic powers have convinced the citizenry of these United States to consume electricity unabashedly. Such thinking is faulty, however, as the tradition of christmas lights is far older than the nation- isn’t it?

from wikipedia

The first known electrically illuminated Christmas tree was the creation of Edward H. Johnson, an associate of inventor Thomas Edison. While he was vice president of the Edison Electric Light Company, a predecessor of today’s Con Edison electric utility, he had Christmas tree light bulbs especially made for him. He proudly displayed his Christmas tree, which was hand-wired with 80 red, white and blue electric incandescent light bulbs the size of walnuts, on December 22, 1882 at his home on Fifth Avenue in New York City. Local newspapers ignored the story, seeing it as a publicity stunt. However, it was published by a Detroit newspaper reporter, and Johnson has become widely regarded as the Father of Electric Christmas Tree Lights. By 1900, businesses started stringing up Christmas lights behind their windows. Christmas lights were too expensive for the average person; as such, electric Christmas lights did not become the majority replacement for candles until 1930.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

Just to ensure that the Newtown Pentacle doesn’t accidentally cause a remonstrance to spring up, we need to give equal time to all faiths in these ChristmAstoria posts- thus- December 23 is the date on which a surprisingly large number of Americans will celebrate Festivus. Watch out for feats of strength being performed, and gather round the Aluminum pole, its time for the airing of grievances.

from wikipedia

The practice of putting up special decorations at Christmas has a long history. From pre-Christian times, people in the Roman Empire brought branches from evergreen plants indoors in the winter. Christian people incorporated such customs in their developing practices. In the fifteenth century, it was recorded that in London, it was the custom at Christmas for every house and all the parish churches to be “decked with holm, ivy, bays, and whatsoever the season of the year afforded to be green”. The heart-shaped leaves of ivy were said to symbolise the coming to earth of Jesus, while holly was seen as protection against pagans and witches, its thorns and red berries held to represent the Crown of Thorns worn by Jesus at the crucifixion and the blood he shed.

and just as a note- this is the Anniversary of Vincent van Gogh cutting off his ear lobe in 1888